Can I have your attention Couples! Are you stressed out? Are you probably doing more than you ever imagined you could? One couple, two jobs, too much to do.

The results are abnormal level of stress, fatigue and tension. Although this overwork means more income, but this little more dollar notes is at the expense of our love lives and relationship. Over burdened couples have perfected their busy lives by putting exceptional stress and strain on their marriages. In time, they have stopped playing, laughing and communicating without even touching each other. They tell each other that this is the way married couples live, which is unfortunately accurate. So they put aside romance and passion, settle for a functional relationship and live miserably ever after. They may stay together but they don’t stay intimate.

Wait a minute please! Do you think it is possible to have everything we need, and do everything we should, without feeling like we are about to fall apart at the seams? While you are pondering on the question, do look below at the reasons why we live together but stay apart.

NINE INTIMATE QUESTIONS

1. How often do you show affection to each other?
2. How often do you laugh at each others jokes?
3. How often do you say something nice to each other?
4. How often do you compliment you partner in front of others?
5. How often do you make love?
6. How often are you playful with each other?
7. How often do you look each other in the eyes while talking?
8. How often do you give each other a little surprise?
9. How often do you say please, thank you or I am sorry?

WHY STRESS DULLS ROMANCE

People with busy lives; spend considerable time preoccupied with your own anxieties, needs and wants. This creates various forms of relationship narcissism, the tendency to be so preoccupied with the unending struggle to maintain control may lead to mismanagement of relationships.

For some, relationship problems are caused by insensitivity to the people around them. Self-absorption and focusing on your own worries can result in feeling so anxious and burdened that you don’t notice other people’s needs. If you manage your life as a perpetual road race, there will be an inevitable toll on your relationships.

KEEPING PASSION ALIVE

Of course, no one has a fairy-tale marriage. There are couples, however, who manage to keep intimacy alive 10, 20, even 30 years after saying I do. Though no less stressed than many other couples, they cope in ways that don’t put a strain on their marriage. And even if they have issues in their intimacy and periods of disillusionment, they remain mutually supportive, committed to a good life together, romantic and passionate about each other. I have found 10 ways those in healthy, intimate relationships keep their love alive. Follow their lead and use your exceptional coping skills to change the state of your union.

1. Work it out

   Lifelong love and romance takes effort and courage. Few things in life are as complicated as building and maintaining an intimate relationship. You need to work at it constantly and apply your considerable managing abilities to get through those trying periods that require extra work.

2. Team Work

   When making decisions, such as whether to work overtime or accept a transfer or promotion, ask yourself this question: What will the choice I am making do to the people I love? Try to make the decision that will have the least negative impact on your marriage and your family.

3. Be protective

   Separate your marriage and your family from the rest of the world. This might mean refusing to work or worry on certain days or nights. You might end up turning down relatives and friends who want more of you than you have the time, energy or inclination to give. You might even have to say know to your children to protect time with your spouse.

4. Share your thoughts and feelings

   Unless you constantly communicate, signaling to your partner where you are and getting a recognizable message in return, you will lose each other along the way. Create or protect communication lines, No matter how busy you may be, make time for each other. For example, take a night off each week, go for a walk together every few days, go out to breakfast if you can’t have dinner alone, or just sit together for 15 minutes each evening simply talking, without any other distractions and of course, how you deal with each other during those times is crucial.

5. Manage anger better

   Try to break the cycle in which hostile, cynical attitudes fuel unpleasant emotions, leading to aggressive behaviors that stress others. Watch your non-verbal signals, such as the tone of your voice, your hand and arm gestures, facial expressions and body movements. Deal with one issue at a time. Don’t let your anger about one thing lead you into showering the other with a cascade of issues.

6. Declare your love over and over again

   True long-range intimacy requires repeated affirmations of commitment to your partner. And don’t forget that love is not only in what you say but also in how you act. Buy flowers for each other. Do the dishes without being asked. Committed couples protect the boundaries around their relationship. They share more secrets with each other than they do with their circle of friends and relatives. They make decisions while keeping in mind the impact that those choices will have on their partnership. They also resolve to keep up with and encourage each other’s growth.

7. Have fun together

   Human beings fall in love with the ones whom they are happy to be with. They stay in love with those who make them feel safe precious. Keep delight as a priority. Put your creative energy into making yourselves joyful and producing a relationship that regularly feels like recess.

8. Trust each other

   People come to trust the ones who validate them. They learn to distrust those who act as if a relationship were a continual competition over who is right.

9. Forgive and forget

   Don’t be too hard on each other. If your passion and love are to survive, you must learn how to forgive. You and your partner regularly need to wipe the slate clean so that anger doesn’t build and resentment won’t fester. Holding on to hurts and hostility is a way of blocking real intimacy. It will only assure that no matter how hard you otherwise work at it, your relationship will not grow. Do what you can to heal the wounds in a relationship, even if you did not cause them. It is also important to absolve each other of the sheer stress and fatigue you can cause in each other’s lives. Be compassionate about the fact that neither of you intended to hurt the other as you set out on his journey.

10. Cherish and applaud

    The most fundamental ingredient in the intimacy formula is cherishing each other. You need to celebrate each other’s presence by giving your partner admiration, applause, appreciation, acknowledgment.

 

 

 

Finally, try to keep in mind that there really are no perfect relationships. Do what you can to help each other stay in love for ever.